How to know if she loves you
You’ll know that she loves you if she prioritizes you, chooses you first, sees you as the prize, displays affection for you, and respects you. You’ll feel the chemistry. It’ll feel like energy pulling her toward you. The relationship will feel magnetic and natural.
Being loved by a woman is like no other feeling in the world.
Waking up next to someone who scoots closer to you because they want every inch of their body touching yours.
Going out to dinner with someone who’d rather hang on your every word than check their phone.
Being with someone who’s so enamored with you that they ignore every other guy on the radar just to vie for your attention…
These are not small things.
As a man, you should be seeking this in the women you date and form relationships with.
Some men refer to it as burning sexual desire.
It’s that magnetic energy you feel when you know that you’re her first and favorite choice.
It’s the powerful attraction you feel from her when she’s constantly trying to please you, make you happy, and win your affection.
It’s imperative to understand these values. Because you don’t ever want to get seriously involved with a woman who doesn’t truly love you.
As a man, the greatest thing you could ever receive from a woman is her full-fledged love, affection, and desire.
But here’s the caveat.
This can’t be faked or manufactured.
It either exists, or it doesn’t.
If it does, you can nurture it by loving her in return.
You can also ruin it by treating her badly, pushing her away, or acting indifferent toward her.
But if it’s there, it’s important to pay attention to it. Because to hold true feminine love is one of the greatest treasures the masculine can possess.
So let’s dig in and discuss how to know for sure if she actually loves you or not.
Note: Of course, the below signs should be taken in context. One or two by themselves may not mean anything significant. But if you’ve been dating for several months and you start to see quite a few of them consistently, then chances are that she’s in love with you.
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26 Signs a Girl Loves You
1. She Prioritizes You
If she doesn’t prioritize you, she doesn’t love you.
This is just the truth of the matter.
This isn’t to say that she won’t have other pressing responsibilities.
But you’ll see it manifested as real effort.
You’ll know that you’re a priority to her.
2. She Gets Jealous
As men, we sometimes find jealousy annoying.
And for good reason.
It can be overwhelming to deal with sometimes.
And yet, it’s a very natural and ancient human emotion.
A woman who loves you will become extremely jealous when she fears that you may choose to allocate resources (time, attention, affection, money, etc.) to another female over her.
But while this may not be pleasant, it is an indicator that she values you—or at least your resources.
If she didn’t care or was indifferent, she would be much less likely to get jealous.
3. She Always Tries to Be around You
Does she seem to always want to be by your side?
Is she constantly trying to spend time with you, visit you, and invite you to do things with her?
This is a sure sign that she may love you. A woman who didn’t love you wouldn’t be so interested in spending so much time with you.
4. She Listens to You
A lot of women care more about themselves than anyone else.
This is understandable. We have to prioritize ourselves if we wish to survive.
But when a woman loves you, it also means that she instinctively believes that being with you is better for her survival than being alone.
And this means that she may actually be more interested in listening to you than in telling you about herself.
If she seems intensely interested in hearing what you have to say, and takes your words seriously, it’s a good sign that she’s displaying genuine burning desire for you.
5. She Legitimately Cares about You
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https://www.pinterest.com/pin/786089309966813533/A lot of women tend to have an indifferent attitude toward most men.
They may desire for other people to be happy in an overarching sense, but they’re not necessarily going to go out of their way to make it happen.
But when a woman loves you, this changes.
She’ll legitimately act in a caring and nurturing manner toward you.
She’ll focus on trying to make your life better by doing nice things for you.
6. She Tries to Impress You
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https://www.pinterest.com/pin/15270086230447373/It’s no secret that women love attention.
But most women don’t feel the need to impress anyone specific unless they care greatly about that person’s opinion.
And there’s no opinion a woman cares more about than the opinion of the man she loves.
If she goes to great lengths to try to impress you, either by dressing up, bragging about her accomplishments, trying to get you to notice her, etc. These are all pretty surefire signs that she may actually be in love with you.
7. She’s Always Flirting with You
If she truly loves you, she’ll want to keep that ‘spark’ between the two of you alive.
She won’t want to risk letting it die out.
She may show up at your house dressed in lingerie, light candles for you, tease you a little bit, make hints about how good you look in your T-shirt, initiate intimacy, etc.
But here’s the bottom line.
If she flirts with you and/or otherwise engages in flirtatious behavior when she’s around you, that’s a sure sign that she’s into you—and that she may very well love you.
8. She Cares about Your Future Plans
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https://www.pinterest.com/pin/4996249578641476/Is she intensely interested in what you plan to do in the future?
Does she care about your work and life to such an extent that it almost feels like she wants to understand the ‘roadmap’ of how you want your life to progress?
It may be because she loves you and wants to be a part of it with you.
9. She’s Your Biggest Cheerleader
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https://www.pinterest.com/pin/477029785531984346/Does she cheer you on when you accomplish big things, celebrate your victories, and encourage you when you feel down?
A woman who doesn’t love you wouldn’t care about these things.
But if she goes out of her way to be your cheerleader and to let you know that she genuinely believes in you—well, that’s a definite sign that she desires you, and may even love you.
10. She’s There When You Need Her
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https://www.pinterest.com/pin/29766047523344014/When you ask her for help with something, does she make herself available?
Of course, as a high value man, you’ve probably already got your life put together.
But sometimes, even high value men can use another pair of hands when things get super busy.
If she makes it a point to be there when you do need this kind of help, that may be a sure sign that she’s actually in love with you and wants to make sure that you know it.
11. She Tries to Make You Happy
A lot of women are really only out to make themselves happy.
Once again, this makes sense. It’s about survival and self prioritization.
But when a woman actually wants to make you happy as well, and puts a sincere effort into doing so, that tells you something about her.
It tells you that she sees a relationship with you as so beneficial to her survival and happiness that making you happy has become a priority for her.
That’s a sure sign that she’s serious about you.
12. She Remembers Details Pertaining to You
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https://www.pinterest.com/pin/781585710334644207/Does she seem especially keen at remembering specific dates, times, end details pertaining to you?
Humans only have a certain amount of mental bandwidth.
And for most people, remembering small details about a person’s life won’t be anywhere near the top of their priority list.
So if she seems to:
- Be good at remembering small details about you
- Be interested in showing you that she’s good at remembering such details
These may be signs that she’s trying to tell you that you mean a lot to her. It may be her way of saying:
“Hey, look at how much attention I’m paying to you. I love you!”
13. She’ll Try to Be Your Best Friend
Friendship is important to every relationship.
Granted, a dating relationship with a woman is going to be different than a platonic friendship.
But that doesn’t mean that she won’t put a lot of effort into trying to be your best friend if she also has romantic feelings of love for you.
If she loves you, she’ll want to be the most important person in your life.
She may even try to compete with the rest of your circle to be your very best friend.
14. She’s Willing to Work on the Relationship
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https://www.pinterest.com/pin/736901557781800511/In our modern dating culture, dating apps provide a nearly infinite number of potential prospective partners to anyone willing to go to the trouble to download one, upload a few pictures, and create a profile.
This makes it easier than ever to walk away from a problematic dating relationship and start a new one.
But here’s the thing.
If she loves you, she won’t want to walk away and start something new.
Not only will she believe that trying to make it work with you is her best option, but she’ll also show you as much through her behavior.
A woman who puts effort into working on the relationship is a woman who’s invested in it because she loves the man she’s dating.
15. She Gets a Little Flustered When You’re Around
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https://www.pinterest.com/pin/767582330222878090/Do you ever notice her acting a little bit flustered, giggly, goofy, or even just a little bit weird around you?
The trope of a woman acting like a “giggly school girl” around the man she loves is a trope for a reason.
It’s true.
As a woman I once dated used to say to me:
“You sure know how to make a girl feel self-conscious. You just fluster me when I’m around you. It’s hard to keep my thoughts straight.”
16. She Thinks You’re Perfect, Despite Your Flaws
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https://www.pinterest.com/pin/466192998933395114/Nobody’s Perfect.
We all have flaws, male and female alike.
But when a woman legitimately loves a man, she tends to see right past the flaws to all of the good things that exist alongside them.
And I’m not talking about the blindness of infatuation, either.
Infatuation and love are two different things. But sometimes, infatuation is mistaken for love.
Infatuation would make you blind to someone’s flaws because of the crazy sex hormones that are surging through your body.
Love, on the other hand, allows you to see the flaws and decide that the person is of such high value that you’re willing to accept them.
17. She Values Your Opinion
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https://www.pinterest.com/pin/642677809329711179/In order for a woman to truly love a man, she needs to be attracted to him.
Sexual attraction is an important component to romantic love.
But it’s also true that in order for a woman to be truly attracted to a man, she needs to respect him.
And if a woman truly respects you, she’ll value your opinion.
Be careful of women who don’t seem to place any value on your opinion.
If she doesn’t value your opinion, she likely doesn’t respect you.
And if she doesn’t respect you, she definitely doesn’t love you.
18. She Strives to Lift You up and Inspire You
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https://www.pinterest.com/pin/11470174031980479/One of the hallmark signs of a high value woman is that she’s inspirational.
To be inspirational means that you strive to lift others up and encourage them to achieve the great things they’re capable of.
If a woman enters your frame and seems determined to lift you up and inspire you as a man, there’s a good chance that you’ve found someone who’s not only a high value woman but also someone who loves you.
By contrast, a woman who doesn’t love you will be much more likely to try to compete with you, outdo you, or even subtly put you down.
19. She Talks Positively about You
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https://www.pinterest.com/pin/4222193391147193/Does she often brag to her friends and family about you?
When she speaks about you in public and behind your back, does she say good and positive things?
A woman who speaks ill of a man behind his back or puts him down in private doesn’t truly love him.
And a woman who puts a man down in public has zero respect for him.
By contrast, a woman who speaks positive and encouraging words about a man in the presence of others definitely displays affection towards him.
This kind of positivity is much more telling of a woman who loves a man.
20. She’ll Make You Feel like You Have a Partner
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https://www.pinterest.com/pin/142637513185866589/A woman who loves a man will strive to be a partner and a helpmate to him.
She won’t want him to feel like he’s alone in the world.
On the flip side, a woman who makes a man feel alone is probably more interested in serving herself than in serving her partner.
This is an important value to look for when trying to measure how much a woman actually loves you.
21. She’s Honest with You
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https://www.pinterest.com/pin/324188873177948239/Honesty goes hand-in-hand with respect.
It’s not always easy to be honest with your partner.
So a woman who’s honest with you is also showing you that she’s courageous enough and values the relationship enough to do so.
Be wary of women who won’t tell you the truth or honor their commitments to you.
If a woman truly loves you, she’ll show you through her honest words and actions.
22. She Treats You with Respect
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https://www.pinterest.com/pin/254734922663595237/As I mentioned briefly above, a woman cannot love a man she doesn’t respect.
In contrast, women crave the attention and validation of men they respect and are highly attracted to.
This actually creates a dynamic spawning ground for romantic love to spring to life.
It’s not necessarily easy for a man to earn a good woman’s respect. Therefore, if a woman seems to like you and treats you with the utmost respect, that’s a sure-fire sign that she may be truly falling in love with you.
23. She’s Affectionate
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https://www.pinterest.com/pin/838936236818004612/If a woman treats you more like a friend than a lover, you might start to question whether or not she actually loves you.
Now, it’s not so uncommon for ‘random acts of PDA,’ for example, to take a lesser role in a relationship after you’ve been married for years.
But the truth is this.
If a woman loves you, she’ll want to be affectionate with you.
She’ll want to sit on your lap, hold hands, hug you randomly, etc.
If a woman wants to do these things, there’s a reason for it.
It’s because she feels romantically drawn to you. And if it persists past the ‘infatuation’ stage of the relationship, there’s a good chance that it’s an indicator of real love.
24. She Wants Your Approval
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https://www.pinterest.com/pin/548735535829245068/If a woman respects you, she’ll also desire your approval.
And this is a definite sign that she may be in love with you.
See, women don’t just seek the approval of random men, even if she’s going on dates with them.
But she’ll think differently about a man she loves.
To her, his approval will be one of the most important and valuable metrics in the universe.
She’ll crave his approval and admiration—and when she makes him happy, she’ll feel accomplished and successful.
25. You’ll See Actions, Not Excuses
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https://www.pinterest.com/pin/41025046595023025/Does she often give excuses for why she’s not acting in a truly loving fashion?
Well, here’s the truth.
A woman in love won’t need to give excuses.
She’ll show her love through her actions.
It’s not rocket science. It’s human behavior.
Look at how she behaves. Behavior speaks volumes louder than words.
Words can be cheap, but behavior is real.
If she behaves like she loves you, she probably does. If she behaves like she doesn’t, she probably doesn’t.
In fact, this is probably the number-one sign that it’s time to end the relationship.
If she doesn’t display acts of love toward you anymore, then there’s little reason to continue to spend time with her or to pursue the relationship.
26. She Says ‘I Love You’
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https://www.pinterest.com/pin/63261569754169111/No three words can ring so powerfully for us as humans than these:
I love you.
If a woman tells you that she loves you, odds are good that she does.
She may not be perfect, and her love for you may not be perfect.
But if the relationship is going well, if she tells you she loves you, and if her actions seem to line up with those words, you can count on two things being true:
- She believes it, at least to a point
- She’s desperately hoping and craving that you love her in return
The Differences between Love, Lust, and Attachment
A lot of people struggle to understand the differences between love, lust, and attachment.
Some people believe that ‘true love’ happens when you combine all three of these elements together.
But in order to fully understand what ‘love’ truly is, it’s important to understand what each of these means, and why.
Helen Fisher actually wrote about these three events—love, lust, and attachment—and how the brain chemistry for each is a bit different in her book Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love.
Lust, romantic love, and deep attachment can visit you in such different and unexpected combinations that many people have come to believe the mixture of sensations that draws you to another is mysterious, elusive, perhaps even heaven-sent.
But then, she also goes on to say this:
But once you begin to envisage lust, romantic love, and attachment as three specific mating drives, each producing many gradations of feeling that endlessly combine and recombine in countless different ways, love takes on tangibility. Even the elaborate love schemas of the classical Greeks make sense.
Personally, in my own life and in my own experiences, I’ve gone to great lengths to examine the differences in these three specific ‘mating drives,’ and have come to determine that they all serve their own purpose.
As men, it’s crucially important that we learn to separate our actions from our pure emotional responses.
It’s also important, however, to be aware of our emotions and how they may be influencing us to do what’s best for us in any given situation.
It’s also important to understand these concepts so that we can attempt to understand what’s happening in the brain of our female partner.
So here are a few deeper thoughts and some additional context on the topics of romantic love, lust, and attachment.
What Is Love?
In my way of thinking, the best way to define love is as such:
Love is a decision to commit to someone and to act toward them in a manner that’ll benefit them and increase their odds for survival.
Romantic love is the same thing, it just takes on a few additional components—like sexual attraction, lust, and the desire to be intimate/physically close.
It could also incorporate a mutual desire to want to reproduce together, start a family, overlap your domestic lives, etc.
But I find that it’s incredibly valuable to think of love as a decision and a commitment rather than as a feeling.
I think of affection as a feeling. But love, to me, is best described as an intentional commitment you make to treat someone a certain way.
So when it comes to women, just ask yourself:
“Does she seem to be making an intentional decision to treat me in a loving manner?”
This is an important question to ask when trying to figure out if she really may be in love with you.
Remember, words are cheap—but behavior never lies.
What Is Lust?
Lust is best described as the feeling of sexual longing and erotic desire you feel toward someone when they turn you on or make you feel especially drawn to them in a sexual manner.
Lust is incredibly important when it comes to romantic love because if the two of you don’t inspire ‘lust’ within one-another, odds are good that the two of you aren’t going to have nearly as strong of a connection.
And so, when trying to determine whether a woman may indeed love you, you should always ask:
“Do I seem to inspire lust within her? Does she seem to truly sexually desire me?”
If so, that’s a good sign.
If not—it may be best to consider a different option.
What Is Attachment?
And finally, attachment is best defined as the feeling of closeness and bonding you feel with someone after getting used to them and growing acclimating and comfortable with spending time together.
Attachment comes later, after you’ve spent time together and feel close and comfortable with each other.
But here’s the real question to ask yourself as it pertains to women:
“Does she still act in a loving manner toward me even now that we’re closer and there’s more attachment between us?”
If so, that may indeed point toward the fact that she actually does love you.
Note: Remember that women sometimes stave off getting attached so they won’t get hurt. She may want to be sure that you’re not going to hurt her before she allows herself to love you with her whole heart and soul.
Women love deeply. And it hurts when the chosen man doesn’t return this love. Therefore, women tend to be cautious about this.
How Does She Know You Love Her?
A woman knows when a man loves her when he displays commitment signals toward her.
These signals may include things like:
- Investing in her
- Choosing her over other women
- Making her a priority
- Listening to her
- Remembering details about her
- Giving her gifts and being willing to spend money on her
Check out this post for a full and comprehensive list of commitment signals that women look for to see that the man they’re dating may actually love her.
Conclusion
There you have it.
If you see a few of these signs in her behavior, there’s a good chance that the seeds of love have taken root and are now sprouting.
But never forget:
Women are far more likely to fall in love with you if you’re a high value man who’s constantly striving to become better than he was yesterday.
So if you want women to actually notice you and preselect you, remember that you can increase your chances by continuing to level up to become the type of man women actually desire.
Now get out there and make it happen.
Need more advice on how to level-up as a man? Check out our YouTube channel.
Go with grace, my friends. And never give up your power.
FAQs
How do you know if she loves you when making love?
If a woman desires to be close to you, holds her face closely against yours, looks deeply into your eyes, savours your kisses, kisses you deeply (especially with her tongue), and strives to get every inch of her body closer to you while you’re making love—you can be pretty sure that she’s feeling some intense feelings for you, and may even love you.
How do you test a girl to see if she loves you?
The best way to test if a girl might love you is just to try spending a bit more time with her.
Then, watch her behavior to see if you can identify some of the 26 different behaviors listed above.
If she doesn’t seem to be interested in making you a priority, doesn’t respect you, or doesn’t seem to be excited at the chance to spend some more time with you, those are pretty good signs that she doesn’t love you—at least, not yet.