There was a time in my life when I was totally mystified by women, dating, and attraction.
I was confused, and dating wasn’t a fun experience for me.
I faced constant problems and rejection. The friend zone was my home, and I was ghosted more often than I wasn’t.
But all of that quickly changed when I started leveling up my mindset.
Here’s the thing. If you want to get better at something, you need to learn about it.
So if you want to level up your attraction and dating game, you need a source (or sources) of information to glean wisdom from.
In this post, you’re going to learn the 21 best dating books for men.
Many of these books were instrumental in helping me to escape my dead-end dating life.
They helped me to become a more attractive, higher value man with a thriving, fulfilling dating and sex life.
And now, I pass my list on to you.
Learn and adapt, my friends. This is where you start.
The Top Dating Books For Men in 2021
The Unplugged Alpha: The No Bullsh*t Guide To Winning With Women & Life
This book changed my life. Period. It'll help you to understand the concepts of masculine frame and mental point of origin, which I believe are both crucial in your pursuit to become a better man for both yourself, and for the world. Cooper also breaks down the top 20 red flags that you should vet women for when considering them for a long term relationship, and they're on point. I don't say this lightly but it should be mandatory reading for all men.
Richard Cooper has been a presence in the red pill Youtube space for years with his channel Entrepreneurs in Cars. His channel, rather affectionately known amongst his followers as ‘bomber command,’ is a place where men get ‘cold hard truth bombs’ about life, business, success, and women dropped on them daily.
And The Unplugged Alpha is basically the summation of Cooper’s life work through his YouTube channel, where he distills basic red pill ideology, dating tactics, information about the differences between men and women, and masculine wisdom down into a digestible single-length book that absolutely lives up to it’s name—a no bullsh*t guide to winning with women and life—and any man would find value in cracking it open and giving it a read.
The dating tips contained within it are pretty bullet-pointed. But its real value comes from how it helps men to understand the concepts of masculine frame and mental point of origin.
All in all, it’s a great resource for men on how to avoid making a trainwreck out of their lives by providing basic wisdom (like a father sharing wisdom with a son) that every man in our modern world should know and understand.
All things considered, it’s an absolute must-read if you want to achieve success with women and have a better dating experience.
The Noble Art Of Seducing Women: My Foolproof Guide To Pulling Any Woman You Want – Kezia Noble
This was the book that started me on my journey to understanding women.
And honestly, this is still one of my most recommended book for men who want to level up their dating game.
Kezia Noble is a genius. She almost fell into the pickup scene by accident—but has since gone on to become one of the most well-known and respected dating coaches for men.
From approach, to engagement, to flirting, to mindset—this book delivers a well-rounded introduction to pickup for men who desperately want (and need) to figure out where they’re going wrong with women.
If you want to crush it in your dating life, this best-seller by Kezia Noble is a must-read.
Models: Attract Women Through Honesty – Mark Manson
From the highly renowned author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck and written in Manson's usual engaging tone, this book will teach you how to be more honest, vulnerable, and guide you to set boundaries so that you can truly connect with women and attract them without manipulation.
I wasn’t sure what I was in for with this one. I’ve been a long-time reader of Mark Manson’s blog, but I was still more than surprised by how insightful and valuable this book was.
As you’d expect from the bestselling author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, Models is straightforward. It talks a lot about developing yourself as a man. It also speaks about the strength of being completely open, honest, and genuine. This strong masculine mindset brings a lot of value to your frame, and every man needs it.
Manson isn’t a pickup artist. He’s a very successful man who doesn’t really need ‘pickup’ to win with women. And if that approach appeals to you, this is probably the best dating advice book that you could get your hands on.
Art of Seduction – Robert Greene
There are two things that you need to know about this book.
- It will help you understand how to seduce anyone
- It isn’t totally focused on one-night stands
This book actually explains the process of seduction in such a way that it won’t just get women to fall into bed with you—it will actually help you to understand how to get women to fall in love with you.
Written by the best-selling author of The 48 Laws of Power, The Art of Seduction brings together thoughts about seduction from thinkers such as Ovid, Freud, Kierkegaard, and Einstein.
It also maps out and explores the achievements of some of the greatest seducers throughout history. The exploits of John F. Kennedy, Andy Warhol, Josephine Bonaparte, and even Cleopatra are all explored and discussed.
This book essentially gets to the heart of what seduction is, what tactics work, and how to conceptualize these tactics in your mind.
I was turned on to this book by Alex from Mindful Attraction. Anything Alex recommends is worth a look, because he’s brilliant—and this book is no exception.
The Dating Playbook For Men: A Proven 7 Step System to Go From Single to The Woman Of Your Dreams – Andrew Ferebee
This book skips the ‘weird seduction tactics’ and complicated pickup techniques of yesteryear to jump headfirst into raw, actionable steps that you can take to level yourself up as a man, build a stronger frame, and develop the social skills necessary to crush it in the dating marketplace.
The Dating Playbook was written by Andrew Ferebee, founder of Knowledge for Men. His whole platform is designed to help men reclaim their masculine power, increase their confidence, and build a thriving social life complete with high-quality dating built-in.
And this book is the perfect complement to that mindset.
Need a guide that’s easy to follow, that will give you actionable steps that you can start incorporating today? This may be the book for you.
Alpha Male Strategies: Dating Techniques in the Social Media Age – By Alpha Male Strategies
I first became aware of Alpha Male Strategies by watching his YouTube channel.
This book covers the kinds of topics men need to hear in the digital age. It especially focuses on strategies for dealing with issues like ghosting and flaking—stuff that happens more today than it did a few decades ago.
Alpha Male Strategies comprises the coming-of-age wisdom that a masculine father figure might pass on to his son.
Work on yourself. Become a high value man. Get your sh*t together. Do something that you’re going to enjoy doing for the rest of your life—general masculine life and dating advice for the modern man.
The Pickup Artist: The New and Improved Art of Seduction – Mystery
Anyone who knows anything about game and pickup has heard of Erik von Markovik—also known as Mystery.
No list of dating books for men would be complete without bringing the old-school master of the game into the mix.
But I’ve chosen to feature Mystery’s newer follow-up book, as opposed to his older classic iconic seduction masterpiece: The Mystery Method: How To Get Beautiful Women Into Bed.
Pickup Artist literally ‘picks up’ (yes, I’m a clever punster) where Mystery is today. He’s still the master of seduction, but he’s assembled a new collection of steps and has refined his approach to pickup.
You see, women have caught-on to the classic pickup tactics of yesteryear. And this book is Mystery’s response to that. It’s truly worth a read, and I promise that you’ll learn a few things you didn’t know.
Atomic Attraction: The Psychology of Attraction – Christopher Canwell
Christopher Canwell is a psychologist who specializes in relationships and attraction.
He’s the founder of the website Develop Attraction, where he publishes content and offers coaching for people who need help with their dating/relationship problems.
Atomic Attraction is a refreshing, interesting take on attraction, desire, and seduction. It also digs into the topic of masculinity, and helps to explain it to men who aren’t sure what it means to be a man in today’s complicated world.
It’s simple, straightforward, and effective.
Here’s what the author says about the book on his website:
Atomic Attraction “takes us on a journey through the dark waters of attraction. What turns women on? What makes them choose one man over another? And how can you become truly desirable and attractive?”
Canwell grounds the book in science, and references 40 real life case studies to help you understand the facts behind the game.
Mate: Become the Man Women Want – Tucker Max
Tucker Max, the best-selling author of the books I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell and Assholes Finish First, teamed up with leading evolutionary psychologist Dr. Geoffrey Miller to create this quintessential guide to what women are really looking for in men.
And it’ll truly open your eyes.
To wrap it up in one sentence, it’s a book about how to become the best version of yourself, and then show it off to attract high-value women.
You’ll learn about a range of attractive traits that you can develop to make yourself more desirable to women.
It teaches self confidence, how to be a win/win man, and how to understand the perspective of the ‘other person.’
You’ll learn about leveling up your physical body, your mind, how you use your intellect, and how to cultivate stronger willpower. You’ll also learn about the important differences between agreeableness and assertiveness.
Overall, a top read.
The Way of the Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire – David Deida
This book is truly a must-read for every man on the planet who wants to succeed at life, love, work, and anything else that has anything to do with being a man.
Written by David Deida, one of the most provocative and insightful spiritual teachers of our modern day, the book challenges men to pursue and fulfill their true purpose in life. It calls for authentic masculinity, and provides guidance through the journey of life.
On the dating side of things, the book does a good job of helping men to understand women, attraction, and what it means to be a man of high value.
If you’re interested in unraveling the mystery of relationships, and want to find your genuine frame while building authentic masculine attraction—then The Way of the Superior Man is a genuine work of art to add to your collection.
To Be A Man: A Guide To True Masculine Power – Robert Augustus Masters
This was the book that started me on the path to understanding who I was as a man.
It also helped me to understand my own masculinity—the shadow material that lives in all of us—and how to face and defeat my inner shame.
If you’re having dating problems, I promise that you must confront your inner shame to fix them—and Robert Augustus Masters shows you how to do it in this powerful and enlightening work, written for men who are genuinely struggling with what it really means to be a man.
In a dating context, this book will show you how to become a powerful, authentic, fully-actualized male—the kind of man women actually want, need, and desire.
It’s not a ‘dating book’ necessarily. But the “inner work” this book will help you to accomplish makes it a must-read for men who want to step fully into a strong, powerful, and healthy masculine frame.
The Rational Male – by Rollo Tomassi
The Rational Male isn’t for the faint of heart. This book will turn every idea you have about relationships, dating, and intergender dynamics on its head.
It’s provocative, controversial, firmly logical, enlightening—and shocking.
It will also ruin romance for you, unless you’re willing to adapt your ideas to the way things truly are in the world.
Rollo Tamassi is the man behind The Rational Male. The best way to describe his work is like this—he educates men about the true nature of women, the common pitfalls men face in dating and relationships in our modern age, and much, much more.
When I say that he educates men about the true nature of women—you need to understand that if you’ve never been exposed to the ‘manosphere’ or ‘red pill’ ideology, this book is literally going to blow your worldview wide open.
But I can tell you this from personal experience. Rollo Tomassi knows what he’s talking about, and he’s extremely good at what he does.
The Rational Male deals with several topics, including:
- Positive masculinity
- The feminine imperative
- Plate theory
- Operative social conventions
- Game awareness
- The core psychological theory behind “red pill” ideology
If you want to read something that will forever change the way you view the interactions between men and women, this book is a critical addition to your library.
The Way Of Men – By Jack Donovan
This one is a bit on the controversial side in the sense that it’s all about men embracing positive masculinity. It takes a deep look into what it really means to be a man, and it sugarcoats nothing.
Yes, it’s weird that such such topics are considered controversial—but in our modern day and age, that’s the truth. If you’re a feminist, this book may trigger you a little bit—but it packs in a ton of value for men.
(And honestly—what quality book about masculinity wouldn’t trigger a feminist or two?)
I may not 100% agree with everything in the book, but it does a really good job of explaining what it sets out to explain.
If you’re interested in attracting women and becoming a better man, this book will be an interesting read.
Note: Jack Donovan is an intriguing, if somewhat controversial character—and his rabbit hole online is deep. His content isn’t for the faint of heart, and I don’t jibe with him 100% on everything.
But for men who are trying to understand masculinity, what it is, and what place it holds in the world, this book is a definite must-add to your reading list.
How to Be a 3% Man, Winning the Heart of the Woman of Your Dreams – Corey Wayne
Any man who has ever searched for dating tips online has probably come across Corey Wayne’s content.
His YouTube channel boasts more than 2,200 videos, and he dedicates many of them to helping men with their dating and relationship problems.
How to Be a 3% Man pulls back the veil and teaches men “the hidden secrets to completely understand women.”
It covers dating, relationships, how to meet women, how to create sexual attraction—and best of all, it offers step-by-step instructions to help you do all of these things while staying true to yourself as a man.
No More Mr Nice Guy: A Proven Plan for Getting What You Want in Love, Sex, and Life – Robert A. Glover
Dr. Robert Glover is a certified marriage and family therapist and also a former "nice guy." In his book, he describes what he calls "Nice Guy Syndrome" and why it's so damaging to a man's life and all of his relationships. Inside, you'll learn how to stop seeking approval from others and start getting what YOU want out of life, male friendships, and relationships with women.
Robert A. Glover originally released this controversial title as an ebook. But it became so successful and caused such a stir that he landed a spot on The O’Reilly Factor and the Rush Limbaugh Radio Show.
He was the man who originally coined the term “Nice Guy Syndrome,” and this book is exactly what it sounds like it is.
It’s a book dedicated to helping men who try too hard to please others, while neglecting and overlooking their own needs, wants, and desires.
In a dating context, these principles are invaluable to maintaining a strong masculine frame—and this book is a must-read for any man who tends to get ‘walked on’ by dating partners, women, other men, their bosses, etc.
The Evolution of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating – David M. Buss
After studying (and practicing) pickup for about two years, I thought I understood men and women pretty well.
Boy, did this book prove me wrong.
Written by one of the founding fathers of evolutionary psychology, this book presents a first-of-its-kind, unified theory on the subject of human mating behavior.
Filled with scientific research kindly watered down for us ‘normal people’ to understand, it explains why humans behave the way they do in a mating-behavior context.
What are we attracted to? Why are we attracted to it? What are men and women really looking for in their partners? These are just a few of the questions that Dr. Buss answers within this book.
If you want to understand the core, fundamental principles of attraction—and desire to see how they influence human behavior at the foundational level, then this is the number-one book you need to read.
Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love – Helen Fisher
Dr. Helen Fisher is a biological anthropologist and Senior Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute (yes, THE Kinsey Institute—founded by Dr. Alfred C. Kinsey, the man responsible for The Kinsey Scale).
She’s a specialist in the areas of evolution, biology, and psychology.
She’s also a leading authority on the topics of romantic love, attachment, divorce, monogamy, adultery, sexuality, and human-based personality styles—among many other things.
In this book, the author gets in depth with exactly what’s going on in the brain when someone ‘falls in love.’
As a dating coach, the knowledge contained within this book is invaluable to me.
Understanding the biology of attraction helps us to understand why humans behave the way they behave, and gives us a fascinating look into the foundational modus operandi of men and women on the dating marketplace.
If you like to get a little nerdy about attraction science, this book is a must-read work of art from a brilliant author.
Why Women Have Sex – Cindy Meston and David M. Buss
If you want to truly understand what turns women on, and why—this is the book for you.
It’s scientific and a bit dry at times, but the glimpses of knowledge, the stories, and the science of human mating behavior woven throughout it are invaluable.
As a man, this book really helped me to level-up my understanding of female mating behavior. And as a man who loves women, it helped me to conceptualize not just what gets women into bed, but also what they want, crave, and desire in a man.
If you’re struggling to understand women, grab a copy of this book.
Mating In Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence – Esther Perel
Mating In Captivity is, according to the author, “an honest, enlightened, and provocative conversation on relationships and sexuality” that goes “beyond the common labels of smut or sanctimony.”
This is an especially useful book if you’ve experienced (or repeatedly seem to experience) infidelity in your dating lives/relationships.
It’s also a must-read if you struggle with more conservative dating ideals, and feel held-back by your inability to conceptualize the full scope and depth of human sexuality.
I recommend this book as a dating book for men for exactly that reason.
If you want to flourish on the dating marketplace, you need to embrace a larger way of thinking. You need to understand that sexuality and attraction aren’t black and white, but a vast matrix of overlapping factors.
Sex is both highly simple and highly complicated, all at the same time. And this book does a fantastic job of explaining that.
The Man’s Guide to Women – John Gottman, Julie Schwartz Gottman, Douglas Abrams, and Rachel Carlton Abrams
Women are mysterious—and in this book, the authors attempt to help men unravel this mystery.
Based on solid scientific research, this book proposes a unique idea—that men have the power to make or break their relationships.
While it talks more about relationships than dating tips, I still think it’s an invaluable read for men who want to level up their dating game.
It’s important for men to understand that what they choose to do while dating and conducting relationships matters.
And this book explores this notion in unapologetic, simple-to-understand terms.
To quote the book’s introduction:
Men, you have the power to make or break a relationship. That’s right. Research shows that what men do in a relationship is, by a large margin, the crucial factor that separates a great relationship from a failed one. This does not mean that a woman doesn’t need to do her part, but the data proves that a man’s actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship succeeds or fails, which is ironic, since most relationship books are written for women.
It’s a solid read if you want to take ownership over your dating life and win.
Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People – Vanessa Van Edwards
Vanessa Van Edwards is a body language, human behavior wizard.
She hasn’t written a dedicated ‘dating book’ yet (I’m patiently waiting for the day she does—and then I’ll be first in line to get a copy).
But Captivate is no less valuable as a dating resource, because it contains within it the key to knowing how people work, and spotting their behavioral cues in real-time.
Here’s how the author describes it.
When you understand the laws of human behavior you can get along with anyone, and your influence, impact, and income will increase as a result. What’s more, you will improve your interpersonal intelligence, make a killer first impression, and build rapport quickly and authentically in any situation—negotiations, interviews, parties, and pitches.
5 pages into this book, my mind was exploding with new information—and it has been an invaluable resource in helping me to understand body language and behavior in dating situations.
It isn’t a ‘dating book,’ but if you want to learn how to make a fantastic first impression and better understand body language, give it a read.
Bonus: 4 Best Dating Courses for Men
Kezia Noble’s Seven-Day Mastery Course
I’ve been following Kezia Noble for years—and everything she puts out is worth the money.
Her Seven-Day Mastery Course is no exception.
During this course, you actually go to a physical location, meet Kezia and her team, learn with hands-on training and guidance, and then go out and
If going out and attending the course in-person isn’t your thing, Kezia also offers an Acceleration Home Training Program, which is arguably just as valuable.
I like Kezia Noble’s approach because:
- She’s a woman, so she understands women
- She doesn’t hold back
She tells it like it is, and her methods have been proven to work over and over again.
Mark Manson’s Dating and Relationships Course
Mark Manson is the king of masculine self improvement—and I believe that his dating course offers incredible value.
Learn your relationship type, back-engineer your dating problems, eliminate the 9 mindsets that may be sabotaging your dating life, and more.
The course comprises a series of video lessons, and each lesson comes with an exercise.
These exercises will require you to go out and interact with real people—which is awesome.
I love Mark Manson, and his dating course is absolutely on-point.
The Mystery and Beckster Pickup Masterclass
This is a video bundle that combines Mystery 2.0 material with Beckster Lifestyle Techniques to give you a massive masterclass video bootcamp.
Mystery may seem dated to some people, but this is a brand new course. And I’ll be honest with you—I’m pretty pumped about the new stuff he’s been doing.
He’s one of the oldest and most experienced masters of game and pickup—and the value you get from all of this material will doubtlessly teach you some things you’ve never learned before.
I think it offers huge value for the money, especially if you’re interested in pickup and game.
Dark Game, From Alex at Mindful Attraction
I’m a regular consumer of Alex’s content, and I can tell you from personal experience that Dark Game is a ‘game changer’ for men.
This course is especially valuable if you’re a guy who:
- Doesn’t understand women
- Finds themselves stuck in the friend zone on a regular basis
- Can’t figure out how to deal with ‘flaky women’
- Is sick and tired of rejection
Alex knows his game—and though he’s young, I would put him on-par with some of the greats.
My favorite thing about him is that his stuff isn’t all ‘game.’ He blends game and pickup with the need to hold frame, incorporate your shadow, and grow into your own mature masculinity.
He even talks about tribal dating (though he doesn’t necessarily call it that)—which I’m a huge fan of.
Conclusion—My Top Recommended Dating Book for Men
Recommending one single book from this list is a tough mandate. You really should read all of them to level up your game and upgrade all aspects of your dating life.
But if I had to pick one of these books to recommend to everyone, it would doubtlessly be The Noble Art Of Seducing Women: My Foolproof Guide To Pulling Any Woman You Want by Kezia Noble.
This book will give you a little bit of everything.
She goes hard on game in it, but she also talks about the importance of maintaining a strong, masculine frame (though she doesn’t use that exact verbiage).
She’s unapologetically honest about women. But she doesn’t sugarcoat it for the men, either.
The book serves as a fantastic primer for men who have never been exposed to game/pickup, and accomplishes a lot within its 214 pages.
I literally plan to make this book required reading for my son when he starts dating—so that should tell you something about how useful I found it.
But at the end of the day, remember this:
Every man’s journey is different, and every man will need different tools to help him accomplish his mission and purpose.
So read through the list, see which books stand out to you, and start leveling-up your knowledge.
The most important part of all of this is that we seek to continue to become better men.
Go with grace, my friends, and never give up your power.
