The Alpha Male Explained: 9 True Signs You’re an Alpha

I got my first ‘real’ job when I was 18 years old, and I got married when I was 20. 

But both of these endeavors eventually crashed and burned. 

Even though I started my own business at the age of 22, it stagnated. 

No matter what I tried to do in life, it always felt like I was destined to fail. 

But looking back, I now see that a big part of the equation was that I wasn’t developing true alpha male habits in my life. 

Years later, after finally ‘waking up’ and coming into my full alpha potential, things turned completely around. 

This was the magic ingredient I’d been missing. And once I gave myself permission to step fully into the ‘alpha male’ mindset in my life, I started winning. 

The archetypal alpha male is defined first and foremost by his innate leadership abilities. 

But this is closely intertwined with his highly sensitive hierarchical consciousness. 

Alpha males are intimately aware of the natural structure of human social dominance hierarchies. 

They’re also adept at reading their place within those hierarchies. 

Are you an alpha male? You’ll soon find out.

Because in this post, you’re going to learn exactly what a true alpha male is. 

Exploring the Term: The History of the Alpha Male 

The term ‘alpha male’ has been in use since the 1930s. 

David Mech, an American biologist and author, is often hailed as the man who made it the popular and well-known term it is today. 

Back in 1970, he published a book called The Wolf: The Ecology and Behavior of an Endangered Species. 

Within it, he explored and explained the concept of the ‘alpha wolf.’ 

He originally believed that alpha wolves achieved the position of ‘top dog’ by aggressively competing with other wolves. 

But he later recanted on this. 

As it turned out, pack-leading wolves in the wild didn’t achieve the ‘alpha’ position through aggression and violence. They achieved it by mating, fathering cubs, and starting a family of their own. 

The Alpha Male in Pickup Culture

The pickup community was the next group to make notable and extensive use of the terms ‘alpha’ and ‘beta.’ 

But in these communities, the terms were used to describe how successful men were with women. 

Alphas were successful with women. 

And betas weren’t. 

This nomenclature set the tone for how the terms are generally understood and reference today in pop-culture, but do not necessarily describe the truth about what alphas and betas are as defined by the socio sexual hierarchy.  

The ‘Alpha Male’ Stigma

Many people react negatively to the term ‘alpha male.’

They associate the term with knuckle-dragging gym-boys who bully other men and force themselves on women.

This is partly due to the role the term played in the darker fringes of the pickup community back in the 80s and 90s. 

But it also has to do with other things—such as the influence of feminism in popular modern culture, and the feminization of men that’s taking place all over the 21st century world.  

It also throws back to David Mech’s work, and how he later disavowed his conceptualization of the ‘alpha wolf.’ 

Not surprisingly, a lot of people also dislike the idea of being pigeon-holed into a particular archetype. 

They believe that classifying people into archetypes that accurately define their place in the sexual marketplace speaks to the scary, yet very real notion that different humans are better (or worse) at different things. 

In other words—we aren’t all the same. 

Or, to put it in an even more disagreeable way—we aren’t all valued the same on the sexual marketplace.

Why Is the Idea of the ‘Alpha Male’ so Disliked?

For one, the idea of the alpha male throws a proverbial ‘wrench’ into the mainstream media’s political correctness gender equality fantasy. 

This machine sells men a destructive collection of false ideas, including the notions that:

• All men stand on equal footing in the dating marketplace, regardless of their size, status, power, income, or value system. 
• Women don’t mate based on status or power. 
• Women aren’t actually attracted to ‘powerful, masculine’ men. 
• Women prefer feminized men who bend the knee to the female order. 
• It’s actually more attractive for men to reject their masculine traits as ‘toxic’ and unappealing to modern women.
• Men should be occupying ‘safe spaces’ and striving for emotional feelings of happiness instead of pushing themselves with hard work, self-improvement, self-awareness, and healthy masculine development. 

For many reasons, the mainstream media doesn’t like the idea of a masculine, leadership-mentality man. 

And that’s exactly what an alpha male is. 

In this world, men are (falsely) told that they can sacrifice their masculinity on the altar of feminism, and still succeed on the dating marketplace while finding happiness, fulfillment, and self-esteem as men.

Men in our modern generation are being force-fed a steady diet of anti-male, politically correct nonsense. They’re basically being told that all men should try to behave more like women. 

A notion that is entirely nonsensical if men want to succeed. 

Here’s the thing: 

Many people have lost sight of the delicate balance that must exist between men and women if we want our species to thrive. 

And maybe more than anything, they’ve lost sight of the fact that evolution and adaptation created the rules for the natural sexual marketplace. 

Mainstream media cannot change what women are innately attracted to. 

And it can’t shield men from the harsh reality of the truth: That the world is a dark, brutal, and violent place. 

And in truth, our literal survival as a species through some of these dark times has fallen onto the shoulders of men who took upon themselves the mantle of the ‘alpha male archetype.’

These great, strong, powerful men decided to be masculine lions instead of feminized male sheep, leading the rest of us to survival when the alternative was to stagnate and die.

Demons run when a good man goes to war – Steven Moffat

The Influence of Pickup Culture

People look at the ‘manipulative’ pickup culture of the 1980s (which doesn’t carry a necessarily positive reputation, to be fair), refer back to David Mech’s re-assessment of ‘alpha wolf behavior,’ and lump these things together with buzzwords like ‘toxic masculinity’ to draw the conclusion that the true archetypal ‘alpha male’ is actually far worse than a myth. 

They see it as the perpetuation of the idea that men who pursue such values are simply toxic bullies and trash. 

People don’t like to live in the harsh reality of our natural world. They don’t want to be told that:

• The concept of finding your ‘one true love’ is a myth
• The sexual marketplace is highly competitive and rewards the people who work the hardest to rise to the top of its ranks
• There’s no such thing as a ‘soul mate’ 
• If you don’t get your act together and level up your attraction, you may never attract a high-value partner
• If men don’t cultivate and nurture their masculine traits, their natural magnetic male attractiveness is going to fade and dissipate (this is one of the major reasons for why so many men are SO frustrated with dating in our hyper-feminized modern-day world)

Men Are Not Born into Value – They Must Create It

The truth is that men DO occupy different stations within our human social dominance hierarchies, and that these positions DO play a vital role in how women vet mates and choose sexual partners. 

It’s also true that leveling up our masculine alpha traits DOES increase our chances of winning in life and on the sexual marketplace.

But the irony of it all is this: 

Leveling up our masculine alpha traits also helps society, our families, and our tribes as well. 

The world needs more strong men. And alpha traits are the answer to the problem.  

(Mic drop.)

If you want to become as successful as possible in this lifetime, you need to understand how human dominance hierarchies work. 

You can’t expect to win if you don’t understand the rules of the game.

And as much as people want to point and sputter at the ‘patriarchy’ for monopolizing the system—men certainly didn’t invent the rules. 

That was a ‘mother nature’ thing.   

Enter Vox Day and the Socio Sexual Hierarchy

The socio sexual hierarchy is a categorization system for how men and boys relate to one-another. 

It was created by a man named Theodore Beale (a.k.a Vox Day). 

Vox Day’s online rabbit hole is deep. He’s definitely a figure steeped in controversy. 

But, the socio sexual hierarchy, despite rattling a lot of cages, has settled into place as the system that provides what I would call the most advanced, exhaustive, and honestly useful ‘mainstream’ description of what an alpha male really is to-date. 

I don’t always agree with everything that Mr. Day advocates. 

But there’s still value to be found in unpacking his hierarchy system. 

I find it to be especially useful as a self-awareness tool that men can use to increase their hierarchical consciousness. 

Alright. Now let’s talk about exactly what an alpha male is. 

How Does the Alpha Male Fit in the Socio Sexual Hierarchy?

The alpha male is the leader. 

He’s the type of man other men naturally want to follow. 

He’s successful with women. 

He’s charismatic, charming, and also a little bit dangerous. 

Mature alpha males aren’t just bossy leaders who enjoy telling people what to do. 

They grapple with immense burdens of responsibility and self-sacrifice. 

They’re true servant leaders. They lead by example, they care about whether or not their hierarchy succeeds, and they tend to be fiercely loyal to the betas, deltas, and even gammas who serve them faithfully. 

They’re often very protective of their status. This can verge on paranoia if the alpha senses that someone is threatening to challenge him or undermine his authority. 

Alphas will often seek out direct conflict in such circumstances—and they never shy away from a fight (literally or figuratively). 

On the same token, the alpha tends to be extremely friendly toward people who support his position as the leader.  

If you want to get on an alpha’s good side, show him that you’re willing to submit to his leadership and support his position within the hierarchy. 

Are You an Alpha Male? Take This Simple Quiz

Find out your socio sexual hierarchy rank now by answering 10 quick questions.

You’ll get your ranking immediately:

Alpha Male vs Beta Male

Alpha and beta males have a unique and productive relationship within the socio sexual hierarchy. 

When an alpha comes into power, one of the first things he’ll usually do is promote strong, loyal, effective leadership-types as his lieutenants.

These are the betas. 

The betas serve the alpha by supporting his position and maintaining order. 

The alpha keeps the betas close to him. They gain many benefits from their elevated status and power—without being held to the same immense responsibility of the alpha. 

Alpha Male vs Sigma Male

Alpha and sigma males are almost opposites. 

Alpha males draw their power and status from the structure of the social dominance hierarchy—while sigmas reject the hierarchy altogether, opting to go their own way as lone wolves. 

Sigmas can be problematic for alphas because they’re difficult to control. 

For this reason, alphas don’t usually trust them. 

In fact, some alphas detest the existence of sigmas, because they exist completely outside of the hierarchical framework.  

Alpha Male vs Omega Male

Omega males, like sigma males, don’t really fall into a productive place within the dominance hierarchy. 

But unlike sigmas, omegas don’t choose this path willingly. 

They’re men who’ve tried to assimilate, but failed to do so. 

Women don’t like them. Other men don’t respect them. They’re truly the ‘rejects’ of society. 

A lot of true omegas take the black pill, give up on women, and become disillusioned with life, sex, happiness, and the hierarchy in general. 

Some alphas take omegas under their wing, striving to teach them how to assimilate into the hierarchy as successful deltas. 

But in some cases, it’s actually safer for the alpha to support excluding the omega from the hierarchy altogether. 

This ensures that his victim-mentality, black-pill thinking doesn’t bring ruin to the rest of the tribe. 

Do We Need to ‘Reframe’ the Toxic Symbology of the Alpha Male?

People often mistakenly refer to alpha males as bullies or tyrants. 

He’s often portrayed as the type of man who doesn’t care about anyone but himself, his own status, and his unquenchable thirst for power over those who are weaker than him. 

He’ll stop at nothing to force others into submission. He wants others to do his bidding and submit to his authority—or he’ll throw a massive tantrum and hurt people in the process. 

Studying the True Alpha Male Archetype Found in Nature

Here’s the thing. 

As men, our primary focus in life should be to become better men. 

There are a lot of different definitions for the term ‘alpha male’ floating around on the internet. 

But let’s set the record straight. 

Being a bully and a tyrant isn’t what being an alpha male is all about. 

If anyone knows what a true alpha male is, it would be renowned biologist and primatologist Frans De Waal. 

As a primate behavior expert and the author of a fascinating book titled Chimpanzee Politics: Power and Sex among Apes, Dr. Waal has more than a few things to say about the true nature of the alpha male. 

He’s touted as the man responsible for bringing the term ‘alpha male’ to Washington D.C. 

His book was even recommended by Newt Gingrich as a must-read for freshman congressmen. 

But he also claims that people are misusing the term ‘alpha male.’ 

According to Frans De Waal, the true description of the alpha (at least, among chimpanzees) contains some interesting personality characteristics.

Yes, alpha males are usually:

• Impressive
• Intimidating
• Strong
• Ambitious
• Vigilant

But, the famed biologist and primatologist also describes successful chimpanzee alpha males as:

• Kind
• Loving
• Beloved by the tribe
• Supported and respected 
• Generous
• Peacekeepers
• Empathic (he is the consoler-in-chief of the group)
• Impartial when settling disputes
• Supporters of the underdogs 

The Truth About Successful Alpha Males

The truth is that successful and mature alpha males are servant leaders—not tyrants. 

They lead by example, not to order people around. 

They want to see the entire hierarchy succeed. They don’t exist at the top just for their own selfish reasons. 

They’re highly ambitious. But they’re also highly invested in those who follow them, and they care a great deal about the well-being of those who serve within the dominance hierarchy below them. 

They’re strong, ambitious, and willing to face conflict. 

But they’re also the consoler-in-chief of their tribe. They share resources, they lift others up, and they motivate and inspire others to higher levels of greatness. 

Are You an Alpha? 9 Alpha Male Traits

1. They’re Keenly Aware of Status

Alpha males are the types of men other men want to be around. They’re drawn to group activities, and they’re keenly aware of the natural hierarchies that exist in social groups. 

They’re also conscious of their own place within those hierarchies. 

Are you good at picking out the leader when you walk into a social setting? Do you find it easy to spot the betas and deltas?

If so, then you may possess this vital alpha male trait. 

2. They Tend to be Good Looking

Not all alphas are born with super-model good looks. 

But all alpha’s understand that attractiveness matters. 

Some alphas were born beautiful. But some of them have to adapt and learn how to level up their attraction.

Attractive people tend to be more successful in dealing with other people, and alpha males know this. 

When I was younger, I was overweight and dorky. I had a shaved head, a little beard, and puny muscles. 

As a result, I struggled with dating, leadership, business, etc. 

But once I started putting some effort into my appearance, all of that radically changed. 

Women started hitting on me from literally out of nowhere. All of a sudden, people started taking me more seriously.

It’s amazing how much more success you can find in life when you start putting some time and effort into leveling up your attraction. And alpha males know this. 

3. They’re Effective Leaders and Exist at the Top of Their Status Hierarchies

Alphas, unlike betas, aren’t content to be the second man. 

They’re top dogs. They strive to be the best, hardest-working, most-developed man in the room at all times. 

And if they’re not the top dog, you can guarantee that they’ve already formulated a plan to usurp him and take his spot. 

But many people misunderstand the driving force behind the alpha male’s leadership instincts. 

He doesn’t lead to be a bully or a tyrant. He doesn’t strive for the top because he hates the man who sits in the throne. 

I can absolutely relate to this. When I look around at my friends, colleagues, and family, my first thought isn’t that I want to be better than them. 

My first thought is this: 

How can we all work together to be more successful? How can I bring so much value to this group of individuals that I inevitably become the most valuable man in the room?

This is a mindset that alpha males understand. This is what separates true alpha males from posturing gamma males. 

The best alpha male leads because he’s the best leader in the hierarchy. This is his natural role, and he excels at it. 

4. They’re Confident

Alpha males are some of the most confident men you’ll ever meet. 

In fact, some would say that they border on being over-confident. 

And to an extent, it’s true. 

This is partly what makes the alpha such a strong leader. 

He’s not afraid of his own failure. He understands that he’s the person most capable of succeeding. 

He charges headfirst into unknown territory with a level of self-assurance that most men can’t begin to understand. 

Alpha males are intimately aware of the fact that you can’t be an effective leader if you’re afraid of not being good enough. 

5. They’re Extroverted

Alpha males are highly attuned to the social workings of their hierarchies. 

But they aren’t just good at reading people. They’re fascinated by it. 

Being highly extroverted gives them the power to capitalize on this talent to the fullest extent. 

Some alpha males begin their journey as introverts. So they learn to adapt to their introverted shortcomings. For example—some alpha’s who struggle with introversion learn to become ambiverts. 

Abraham Lincoln and Albert Einstein also started life as introverts, and then learned more extroverted traits as their careers developed. 

6. They’re Visionary

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Alpha males are highly visionary. 

Sure, they want power, status, money, and desirable women—but more than anything, they’re driven by their purpose and vision in life. 

This is part of what makes them so successful. 

Steve Jobs is a fantastic example of this. 

His obvious passion for Apple was 1000% evident in his life. 

It’s more than fair to say that his powerful leadership abilities and commitment to his own vision were the driving forces that made Apple the powerhouse mega-corporation it is today. 

7. They’re Successful with Women

You don’t ever want to get the random call from a desperate dude freaking out, telling you to: “Stop seeing his woman”

But if you do, you should be asking yourself: ‘Which woman are we talking about here?’

If you’re gonna spin plates, do it properly.

— Richard Cooper (@Rich_Cooper) October 22, 2020

Alpha males are very successful with women. 

They come by this naturally. 

They’re:

• Charismatic
• Natural leaders
• High-status
• Powerful
• Ambitious
• Industrious

Alphas always operate from a position of sexual abundance. 

They tend to have their pick of the most beautiful women in the hierarchy. 

They’re the men the women want to be with—and the women who aren’t chosen by them end up settling for men lower in the hierarchy. 

It’s not uncommon to see alpha males dating multiple women at a time. It’s also not uncommon to see them cycling through women at a fairly quick clip. 

Alpha males will usually only settle down after they’re 1000% sure that their ‘single years’ have run their course. 

They want to sow their wild oats before retiring to the ‘one woman’ pasture. And even then, marriage doesn’t always stop them from pursuing covert extracurricular relations with new and beautiful women. 

The Bill Clinton-Monica Lewinsky scandal is perhaps the most famous example of this. 

8. They Don’t Shy Away from Conflict

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Alpha males never shy away from conflict. 

They’re passionate about their status, and their place in the hierarchy means a great deal to them.

As such, they would much rather engage in conflict than to see the delicate framework of the hierarchy (and their position within it) threatened by someone else. 

With that being said, alpha’s also strive to be reasonable. In fact, they tend to be rather forgiving and understanding if the offending party will willingly and understandably submit and fall back in line.

For example:

I used to host a get-together every weekend at my home. 

Well, this new guy started attending. And on two separate occasions, he challenged/disrespected me in front of everyone. 

It was obvious that he saw me as a threat. And his behavior indicated that he felt I needed to be taken down a notch. 

This honestly enraged me—but I kept a level head. 

In private, after each of the first two occasions, I told him that if he didn’t stop disrespecting me, there would be consequences. 

He apologized and assured me that it wouldn’t happen again. 

And so, my anger and my need for him to submit to my authority as the alpha were both satiated. 

I dismissed the matter. 

But then, he did it again. 

And this third and final time, his disrespect toward me was so flagrant that I literally called him out in front of everyone in attendance. 

“Is there something you need to say to me?” I asked him, my voice raised—my obvious anger finally showing through my usually friendly and peaceful demeanor. “Because it sounds like you have something to say and aren’t coming out and saying it.” 

The room went quiet as all eyes fixated on him. He lowered his head and mumbled “no, I don’t have anything to say. Nevermind.” 

The next morning, I texted him and told him he was never welcome at my home again. 

If you want to rile up an alpha, challenging/disrespecting him in a public setting is a sure-fire one-way-ticket to trouble town. It’ll probably lead to conflict, and will definitely land you on his bad side.   

9. They Use Body Language to Appear Larger Than Life

Alpha males understand that strong body language is a key factor in showing other people that they’re the ‘top dog.’ 

I once matched with a woman on a dating app who turned out to be my next door neighbor. 

“I always wanted to talk to you,” she eventually confided in me. “But I could never muster up the courage. Everything about you was so attractive and strong. I used to watch you walk across the parking lot, and just the way you held yourself made me flustered. I was much too shy to approach you in person.” 

Body language matters, and alpha males intuitively understand this. It’s like an innate sixth-sense. 

This is why most alpha males you meet are really good at standing up tall, squaring up their shoulders, looking you in the eye, and starting out with a firm handshake.  

Benefits of Being an Alpha Male

There are many benefits to being an alpha male. 

These usually manifest as more money, loftier prestige, better access to higher-value women, an abundant sex life, and the respect and admiration of others. 

Alpha males enjoy more power, status, and tribal advantages. 

This is the type of man other men want to be like, and the type of man women want to date. 

This means that every alpha has many people vying for his attention. 

This is a good thing for the alpha. People want to impress him and get in ‘good’ with him, because he’s the man in charge. There are a lot of benefits to being associated with the alpha male, and a lot of benefits to dating him. 

This means that he generally has his pick of friends, colleagues, acquaintances, and female company in every social setting. 

Drawbacks of Being an Alpha Male

One of the most powerful advantages that alphas possess is their strong leadership capability. 

But unfortunately, this can backfire because alphas tend to struggle with succession plans. 

In other words, alphas are often really good at choosing followers. But they struggle when the time comes to choose capable leadership. 

This stems mostly from the unique relationship that exists between alphas and betas. 

Betas tend to serve as loyal followers to the alpha. But this can sometimes lead to the alpha promoting betas to greater positions of leadership. 

The problem is that betas don’t often make good ‘alpha-type’ leaders. And they struggle if they’re moved out of the ‘lieutenant’ zone and into the ‘alpha’ zone. 

This can bring chaos to an otherwise stable hierarchy.

Alphas need to be careful about this. Promoting the wrong person to a leadership position can bring ruin to everything they’ve worked hard to build.  

The top position comes with a great deal of responsibility, and requires a tremendous amount of sacrifice. 

He’s the top man. Therefore, the buck always stops with him. 

Whenever someone has a problem, they’re going to look to him for a solution. 

And over time, the strain of leadership takes its toll. 

But this is also why the alpha is the alpha. He’s a leader because others know that they can come to him with their problems. 

This is his duty. This is the servant leader aspect of the alpha that others (especially gamma males) cannot understand or relate to. 

Deltas, betas, and sigmas alike all reject such high levels of responsibility. They literally don’t want anything to do with it. 

How to Become an Alpha Male

Guys: you are NOT GETTING IT!

Stop asking me if shit is beta or alpha. (To be honest, I don’t even really like those terms.)

Just asking ME, makes it beta…

WHY?

Because if you are truly alpha—or let’s say a real man—YOU DO WHAT THE FUCK YOU WANT TO DO! pic.twitter.com/Z8y7NcCOzi

— Bulldog Mindset (@BulldogMindset) September 24, 2020

To become an alpha male, you need to shift your perspective away from what the hierarchy can do for you, and adopt a mindset of “what can I do for the hierarchy?”

The most important thing to study for the budding alpha male is leadership. 

But very close to leadership, the alpha male must understand the importance of self discipline, value, and purpose. 

If you want to begin your journey down the alpha male path, here are the first three steps. 

Step 1: Start Taking Responsibility for Your Life

Above all else, the alpha male is self responsible. 

He doesn’t have a victim mentality. 

He understands that he deserves everything that comes his way in life. He understands that if he wants a better life, he must become a better man. 

Step 2: Define Your Purpose 

There’s literally no such thing as an alpha male who doesn’t have a purpose in life. 

Alpha’s are visionary. They’re driven to succeed, and they have a clear vision outlined for the future. 

If you continue to drift listlessly in life, you’ll never claim the true mantle of alpha leader. 

Step 3: Develop a Tribe-First Mentality

If you wake up every day thinking to yourself “I need to become a leader/manager, because I would rather spend my days telling other people what to do than being forced to get down in the dirt and work myself,” then I have tough news for you. 

That’s not the alpha mentality. 

The mature alpha mentality, rather, says this: 

“I have a goal and a vision. And I know intuitively that I won’t be able to achieve that vision without a tribe. I’m going to work as hard as I can, and become the best leader I can be, to earn the loyalty of my tribe and prove to them that I’m the guy who can take care of them and lead them to a better future. And I’m going to do this as a servant leader. I’m going to lead from the front, always being the hardest-working, highest-value man in the room. That’s my responsibility. I proudly accept it, and I consider it an honor.” 

Alpha males are visionary. They’re true leaders. 

They believe in a goal, and are willing to sacrifice everything to achieve their objective and carry their tribe to victory. 

They go to bat for their tribe every day. They bear the worst brunt of the problems, and they’re always ‘on’ to make sure that everyone has what they need to be successful. 

Conclusion

Hopefully this post has helped you to understand the important truth about the alpha male archetype. 

Just remember. The whole point is to constantly level-up—to become a better man today than you were yesterday. 

If we keep leveling up and continue to improve, we’ll inevitably reach our goals. 

And that’s the literal definition of success. 

For more tips, wisdom, and advice, follow us on Instagram. 

Go with grace, my friends. And never give up your power. 

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